i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
