Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
