at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I love you.
Bad choice
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