I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I want her autograph on my taint
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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