sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
