So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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