we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Randomize
