so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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