Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
