i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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