I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Let's paint friendship bongs
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
