OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Success! We fucked roommates!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
