I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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