i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
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I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
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After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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