Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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