i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
