Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Banned from zoo.
Again?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize