Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
wow bdsm is so cute
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
