these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
