Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
