And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
