I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
