Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
