Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
