You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
