We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
