She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize