You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
