Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My feet surprised me
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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