need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize