What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
