It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I understand Curling. That high.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I would ride that face into the sunset
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
