My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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