i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
