what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize