I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She bit a glass in half.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
