please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
