Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
