So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
