If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
