I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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