STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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