I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
