I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
