Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
