I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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