when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
