was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My cat gives me a boner
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
