He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
