I want to make a zoo with you.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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