Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
