I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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