I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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