Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
