Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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