You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
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