'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
