I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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