CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
