Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
