I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
