she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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