physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My dick has a subreddit
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
