it wasn't lemon gatorade
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
