Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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