The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
