Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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