You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
