i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
