i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
