Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
