Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
