i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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