Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
