Who did Billy Mays play for?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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