I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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