They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I think my fart just growled at me.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
NoShamevember. You game?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Randomize
