I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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