I want to stick my p in your. b.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
