I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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