I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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